I Hate Recruiters

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

You Will Not Exist!

Ten Things I Hate About You
From: F Company

I've been gainfully employed for over 20 years. I never used a recruiter to get a job, but I have used them to fill positions.

The reasons I hate recruiters?

How about: they're lying, cheating, two-faced, clueless, scum.

They have no ethics, morals or even common sense.

They are the sort of intermediary the world wide web was supposed to eliminate -- and God knows the day will come when the entire recruiting industry will be a sorry, not-missed thing of the past.

Have a nice day!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Hungarian Headhunter
Doing business while learning English

From the: Invest In People Project

Ezeket már nem forditom le, ha szükség lesz rá magyarul, nyilván lesz segitség is a megoldáshoz.

Now I change in English. I announced I will almost totally stop writing blogs in Hungarian.

Most of my notes will be in English. Just for a test. And learning. And earning, hehe :)

The key tool for executie search is the carefeul, throughful and professional reference checking.

We use it as a must since the first day of my search practice (1988).

Flirting For Success

From Sound of Crickets

I was at a 'better' department store, picking out several ties to go with a newly purchased suit...


On this particular day, I was shadowed by a woman who was on her own tie-shopping expedition.

After looking over my shoulder for a while she said hello and asked for my help.

I forget whether she was shopping for her husband or son.

She fawned over my selections as I helped her go through the tables, gushing about my abilities and promising to get me work as a consultant of some sort if I wanted.

She was a headhunter and swore that her clients would pay for the services of someone who could do just what I was helping her with...

This was in the mid/late nineties and anyone with computer networking skills was in high demand. She probably wanted to find me a new job and collect the fee.
 

A Slimey Headhunter

From Korovas

Months ago I recognized that my current job is going down the tubes.... I didn't actually start looking for a job by hitting the newspapers or internet job sites.

I just asked around in my circle of friends and a few weeks later a buddy called and asked if he could provide my information to the headhunter who found him his job.

I approved and a few days later the headhunter called me up.

I will refer to him as CandleMan. CandleMan explained that he had a client looking for a Java developer in the city I live.

It was with a very large national company and had stability. He explained the project and said he would setup a meeting with his contacts at the company.

The First Bad Sign

This was near Thanksgiving so the meeting got delayed a few times. In the meantime CandleMan stopped by my office. In my opinion that was very unprofessional.

A person looking for another job does not want his current employer to know he is looking. Had someone in my office recognized him it could of been really bad for me.

So I spent about 10 minutes talking with him outside the office. Then he asked me a few bizarre questions. He asked if my company would be willing to hire ME back as a contractor if I left. He also asked if they would be open to hire more Java developers via contract work.

He was thinking about starting a contracting firm and thought this might be a way to hold me over until the other job came through. About a week later I had a lunch "interview" with CandleMan.

The Red Flags

He brought two "managers" from his client with him. They were interested in me because I had experience using IBM's DB2 database. I was told they were a strict MSSQL shop.

This was the first sign that CandleMan was full of s__t.

The next red flag went up went CandleMan mentioned my current manager by first name.

The third when one of the managers started asking about what technology was used at my current job and future plans, not what experience I had.

When they started asking about 3rd party vendors and used first/last names that I recognized from our competitor company I said "I feel like I have said too much."

It was not a job interview at all, it was a fishing expedition for a contractor looking for an "IN" at a company.

The Truth Is Out

A week later it hit the news: the client company was laying off 80+ immediately. The two "managers" worked there and saw the layoffs coming.

They asked CandleMan to find them jobs but there were none so they decided to create a contracting company and be self employed.

They needed information about local companies to sell their services. So they setup me to fish for info.

I sent CandleMan a very sarcastic email outlining my accusations.

He apologized but denied having any intention of contacting my current employer (that's why he asked if they would be open to hire me back via a contract if I left).

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Paging Mister No-Show

From Southern Living At It's Lowest

So yesterday I went to the... giant conglomerate for an interview.

My sharp little young pup headhunter met me out there to introduce me to my potential boss.


So me and the Headhunter go in to get an access badge...

The Security Officer then calls the guy that we are suppose to see.

He gets voicemail and leaves a message.

We wait about five minutes the Security Officer calls again.
Again, he gets the voicemail, and hangs up.

So my headhunter calls the guy's number on his cell phone Then my HH calls the HR chick who set up the interview. Bingo, voicemail again!

Then my HH starts stopping random people who are leaving for lunch. He is asking them if they know Mr. NoShow.

The 3rd person that he asks says, "Sure I know him, let me find you someone from his dept." So the guy flags down some poor girl who takes us up to Mr. NoShow's important cubicle by the window.

This girl then finds someone who knows Mr. NoShow's cell phone number. So this new guy calls the butthead on his cellphone.

Does this guy answer the cellphone? HELL NO!! So then the guy radioes the cellphone. NoShow answers immediately and says that he is walking into the building.

Mr. NoShow walks in with wet slicked down hair and bleary-eyed. (It's so obvious the his sorry ass just tumbled out of bed and showered.) It's 11:30 by now and 30 minutes after our agreed meeting time.

We introduce ourselves, "Hey, how ya doing?" Mr. NoShow says, "You really got me on the spot here, can I speak to you for a moment Mr. Head Hunter?".

So they walk away from me about 10 feet and start whispering like school girls.

A minute later HH comes over looking like he just swallowed his tie and says,

    I am so so sorry. Mr. NoShow just told me that the position was eliminated due to downsizing two days ago and that he told this all to the HR chick.

    She was suppose to call us and tell us that Mr. No Show would not be interviewing you today.
I sweetly bit my tongue and told HH, "Aw don't worry about it, it's not your fault, just some simple miscommunication, no big deal."

Me and HH chit chatted for a bit and walked out together while he apologized the whole time. But I was so pissed.

Full posting: Southern Living At It's Lowest

I H8 Recruiters

I was reading an article about Road Rage in Toronto and I thought, "There's a lot of hate in our society, isn't there?"

So, then I asked myself, "Is there anyway I can exploit that hatred? For money?".

I couldn't think of any but then I exchanged a few emails with Antonia Zerbisias and I got the idea for this blog.

So, here's my introduction:

Don't you hate recruiters who try to push you into jobs that are not right for you just so they can make a few bucks?

Don't you hate recruiters who say they'll call you back and don't?

Don't you hate recruiters who claim to be experts
but don't understand what you do?

Don't you hate recruiters who...hey, don't you hate recruiters, period? I find that lots of people do even when the recruiters help them!

Anyway, if you hate recruiters sometimes or all the time,
then this glob's for you.

I'm going to start things off with postings I've found on other blogs. But in order to continue, I'll need reports from you, the general public.

Yes, I need you to be a watchdog barking up a storm.
And, recruiters, you can squeal too. Look at it as Quality Control.

I don't know if this will last for more than a few weeks.
That depends on the hating public.

So, if you want it to continue, keep the hate-on!

And, by the way, friends, don't feel guilty for being angry. This is righteous hatred for social justice -- and that makes it A-OK!

And, hey, listen, I can publish happy stories, too.
If you want it to be a Love-In, that's up to you.

Guidelines

1. I don't think we'll be able, ordinarily, to use real names
For fear of legal trouble. If you have any knowledge about that, pls let us know in the comments section, below.

2. All submissions will be subject to editing
a) to make them more readable
b) to edit out stuff that goes over the top

3. To send us a sob story, click here.